


Suspiriorum

by SilverWinterr



Category: Suspiria (2019)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Gore, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love Confessions, Rituals, for the first half, listen this is how the movie should have ended, sara/susie gay i don't make the rules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:20:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25295314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverWinterr/pseuds/SilverWinterr
Summary: Alternate Ending | When Mother Suspiriorum tears down the coven and offers peace to the sacrifices, Sara makes a different request.
Relationships: Mother Suspiriorum/Sara Simms, Susie Bannon/Sara Simms
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	Suspiriorum

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Beth who ruined my life with gay people in horror movies and also for the Horror Gays server, bc you guys are so funny and supportive. Thanks for the life ruining, Beth, and for the support, everyone!

She couldn’t remember how she got here. Where was she? This place was dark...dark and cold and she could feel the malice swirling around her like smoke, heavy and choking. The air was filled with panting and chanting, the sound of feet pattering on the ground, of voices in the distance, but she didn’t care. How could she, when her own thoughts were locked behind an impenetrable cage? A cage locked by the women she once called family, the key thrown away, disappearing into that suffocating darkness.

She stared straight ahead and distantly she could feel a pain in her leg. Some faint memory was floating just outside of the cage. She reached for it, a single finger of thought gently caressing the memory that curled around it like burning incense, for a moment bringing back the sensation of falling, the sound of snapping and screaming, blood running down her foot, until it was gone and she was standing again, phantom pain in her bones.

She could feel others, pressing against her back, but she couldn’t remember their names. Didn’t she know them? Maybe a long time ago, but she couldn’t tell. Within her soul, she cried out for them, names that didn’t make it past the door of the cage. She knew them and she despaired that they were here.

They shouldn’t be here - none of them should be here.

But at least Susie wasn’t here.

It was the only name she could remember, the only one she had caught before the cage had closed and she held it close like a prayer, repeating it over and over in her head. It held back the fear that tried to peek through the bars, it dimmed the sight of darkness pressing down against her eyes, it silenced the chanting and the horrible knowledge of what she knew about the people she had once loved.

She just had to hold onto it. Believe that she was still alive, unhurt, and unafraid. If only she could be there with her now, laughing, smoking, with no knowledge of the horrible tragedies that built the floor beneath her feet.

She whispered her name to herself. If she could cry, tears would be falling from her eyes. If she could speak, her lips would only kiss her name. And as she prayed to her friend...no...sister?...no… _lover_ , she felt something whisper back.

_Sara...I am coming for you._

She didn’t know whether to feel afraid or whether to cry out with joy, but it didn’t matter, for she could do neither but stand there and stare forward as they danced around her and prayed and worshipped to a mother that could not even hear them.

There was the sound of ripping and the splatter of blood and something heavy fell to the floor. One of the girls moved behind her, but didn’t step away. The same thing, on the other side. The other one shifted, and then someone was in front of her.

She recognized her, although she couldn’t look down as she kneeled before her. Ragged hair, twisted face, robes made of hair. She couldn’t think of her name, she couldn’t think anything, before the hook was raised and plunging into her stomach.

She couldn’t react, but she could feel it. It was more real than anything else, more real than the fear or the cage or the phantom pain in her leg. She wanted to scream in agony as the hook ripped across her body, she wanted to fall to the ground and hold herself together before she split apart, but she could only stand and stare straight ahead as the woman reached into her very skin and pulled her body out. She chanted louder to herself, clutching her fracturing soul together before it shattered completely.

She felt empty as the matron walked away, with a piece of her clenched and dripping red in her hands. She felt warm and cold, the hot blood like boiling water on her skin, the wound and pain sending rippling chills up and down her body.

Wherever that voice was, wherever she was, she called to her, silently. _Please hurry,_ she moaned to the darkness. _Please…_

And then, staring ahead, locked in her cage, she saw her. The only one she wanted to see. The only thing left in the world worth caring about. Red hair streaming over her chest and back, a robe draped delicately over her shoulders. She felt her heart cry with joy and pain at the sight of her love stepping out of the darkness. She was here, here with her at the very end.

Yet she was here, in the place of blood and death and _evil, so much evil_. She didn’t belong here - she was light, beauty, joy...she was love and she was hers, not a tool for the coven in the cursed sabbat.

She wanted to scream at her to leave, but she could do nothing but stare blankly forward. For a moment, for one, beautiful, shining moment, their eyes connected and for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, Sara and Susie looked into each other's eyes. Across the room, but she could feel her gaze as if she were standing right in front of her. She could feel _her_ as real as the nights they’d slept in each other's arms, she could feel the sweet smoke on her lips as they smiled and laughed together, the delicate press of her lips on her cheek…

And then she looked away and Sara was left alone in her cage.

But still she watched and chanted her name, because it was all she had left. There was nothing else to do but watch as she turned to the witches on both sides and spoke with both. But she didn’t care, she barely saw them at all. She barely even noticed when one of them fell forward, her head almost fully separated from her body, she barely saw the blood scattering across the floor. All she saw was the faint pain pass across Susie’s eyes and suddenly she wanted to break from her cage and tear apart anyone that would even dare to paint such darkness onto such a force of light.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She wanted to lunge forward and fall into Susie’s arms and comfort her, but she couldn’t because blood still flowed freely from her stomach and the cage door was still locked tight and every moment was more surreal then the last.

By the time darkness truly fell into the room, by the time a red haze descended and shrouded all the witches in its deathly aura, she was barely awake. She was in so much pain…

Chaos was erupting around her. She could hear it as if it were happening in a dream. Screaming and crying, the sound of sobbing and pleas of mercy before the sickening crunch and splattering of blood. A deep growl that sent hot air billowing through the room, breaking up the cold like fire in the snow. And all the while, the sound of feet and breathing permeated everything - the dancers continued their cursed ballet.

And all the while, Sara watched Susie step forward, basking in the chaos.

And she watched her chest open and the red erupting over her skin, but she wasn’t watching that. She watched her face, peaceful, almost...happy.

_I am coming for you…_

And then she was there, so close to her. So close that Sara could almost reach for her, caress her face and fall against her, but she only swept by. She wanted to cry from the loss, the absence of her face, the absence of her _name_ , left alone in the dark.

But then she heard her, voice so calm, voice so dark and beautiful, asking to the bodies behind her.

“What do you ask?”

And a voice so familiar, so filled with pain and anguish, responded - “To die.”

And a moment later, the body behind her slid down and she could feel it, the life extinguished, moving away from torment and into the great beyond, to settle peacefully, painlessly, among the stars.

Susie’s presence, which had grown so strong and heavy and _powerful_ , moved to the other. This girl moaned softly as she approached.

“Mother, Mother we are so tired.”

Yet all Susie asked was the same - “What do you ask?”

And she responded - “I want to die.” And then she fell, as peacefully as the last and Sara could cry for them, not in sadness for their passing, but in joy that they had moved beyond their tortured flesh. For if they hurt as much as she, then death would be better than living another second.

She waited, at the end of her sanity, for that face to appear again. And she _did_ , eyes so heavy and dark and dangerous, but Sara was not afraid. She felt nothing but love and comfort and hope - for what, she didn’t know.

And when she reached out and caressed the sides of her face, she saw the hands in her mind, reaching towards the door. With a single touch, the lock snapped open and fell, clattering to the ground. The cage creaked itself open and Sara felt herself rushing out, filling her mind all over again and flooding herself, filling her head back up with _her._

But she could feel the pain redouble, in her stomach, in her leg, and she fell to her knees, Susie falling with her. She could feel her hands against her face, so real, so warm and she gasped, hot tears at last able to fall from her tired, burning eyes.

“Sweet girl,” Susie whispered as she got closer. She was so close, Sara could feel her breath on her face, she could feel the brush of her skin against hers, she could stare deep into her eyes.

And the things she saw within them, she had never seen before. She saw so much more, as if she, herself, had been trapped in a cage until now, when she was finally released. And Sara knew who Susie was now, _what_ she was.

The witches had thought they were doing this in the name of their mother, but here their mother stood, stepping across their corpses, feet soaked in their blood, and holding their souls within her chest - punishment for their corruption and their blasphemy.

But it did not take anything away, it did not erase Susie from Sara’s mind, to fill her with someone else, someone so much more. She was still _her_ and she still loved her more then anyone else in the world. 

So when Mother Suspiriorum...no, when Susie asked her, “What do you ask?” she gasped out her answer without a second of thought - “I want you.”

The smallest of smiles spread across Susie’s face, growing wider until it was that same, beautiful, dimpled smile that Sara had fallen in love with so long ago. And she leaned forward and kissed her softly, lips brushing warmly against hers, and Sara felt the world fall right.

The pain that had consumed her universe began to ebb away. The wound healed itself, stitching itself back together, a feeling of wholeness, of completeness, finally filling her after such a long time. She wasn’t cold anymore. She was warm, wrapped up within Susie’s presence, their love melding together into one, the Mother’s specter wrapping her close and flooding her, changing her.

Strength ebbed back into her limbs. Life refilled her every nerve. And when they at last pulled away, breathing softly and staring deep into each other's eyes, Sara rose, Susie clutching her hands tightly. The dancers still thumped around them, throwing themselves to the ground, their hair waving in the air, hands slapping against the concrete, yet she paid them no mind anymore. Their minds were as caged as hers had been moments ago, yet they would release them and take this darkness from their memories.

She looked back at the bodies of Olga and Patricia - that’s right, that’s what their names were - and sighed softly. Such young girls, filled with so much life, but she could feel them now - beyond life, sleeping peacefully together, where they would stay, safe and protected, until the end of eternity.

She turned back to look into Susie’s eyes. She was studying Sara with a curious intensity before reaching forward to caress her face again. “You have me,” she whispered, softly and Sara sighed into the touch. All the pain, all the fear...it was done, now, and she would never feel it again.

She reached forward, the feeling of movement so welcome back in her limbs, and wrapped her arms around her love and they embraced, threading themselves so tightly around each other that Sara wondered how they would ever separate. How would they ever go back to being two separate beings now that they were so close? Should they even bother, when they had each other?

She never wanted to let go, she wanted to hold onto her until the world ended, until the walls came crumbling down around them, but Susie broke the contact, releasing her slowly and turning to look at what remained of the coven, her hand never releasing from Sara’s. The witches she had spared were crouched against the walls, staring at them with pure terror or passed out from fear. The psychiatrist was curled in on himself, sobbing, and the dancers continued to dance around them, despite the gore that painted the floor.

“There is a lot to do,” Susie sighed, squeezing Sara’s hand. She looked back at her with those warm, powerful eyes, but Sara matched that intensity - the strength shared and accepted. “Will you come with me?”

Sara smiled and squeezed back. “As long as I’m with you.”

Susie smiled and lifted her hand, brushing her lips delicately across her skin. “Always.”

She turned then and, as one, they stepped forward, sharing the power of Mother Suspiriorum, to tend to their children, the three mothers becoming four.


End file.
